Oct 25, 2026

What is Avoidance Abuse?

In traditional marriage and family therapy, if there's no physical abuse, relationship problems are usually treated as "50/50." I believe this ignores the power dynamics in many relationships between men and women. That's why I coined the term "avoidance abuse": the use of covert power and control in a relationship. It can look like one-sided arguments, no attempts to repair, tone-policing, and withdrawing from the relationship. If this sounds like your marriage, it's not your fault, it's not a 50/50 issue, and there are steps you can take. 

 

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